The Vader Weekly Staff is a bunch of lazy jerkfaces.

This just in: the Vader Weekly staff is full of good for nothing non contributors. Their lives are so busy that the NEVER have time to just sit in front of the TV with a laptop on their lap and write emails or face-book friends.  Also, Doug E Fresh is a Scientologist, just so you know

Senior Vader Weekly Editor Anson “Darth” Sowby delivers brand new baby boy Luke Sowby into our cosmos, without a hitch.

the force is strong with this guys rear end.

Late last night Anson and Ro delivered a beautiful healthy baby Star Wars fan named, of course, Luke.  Where does this exotic name “Luke” come from you may ask? Well, we here at Vader Weekly have a hunch that the name comes from a sick depraved corner of daddy Anson’s Star Wars riddled brain. We can just imagine Anson in his Star Wars media room (yes he has a Star Wars Man Cave, making wife/mommy Ro an undeniably intergalactic “keeper”) saying “HOW FUCKING COOL would it be to have a son named ‘Luke’ so I can say ‘I AM YAW FAWTHAH!’ over and over again until he throws sand at me!” YES! PWNED! Congrats from the Vader Weekly Staff, you little intergalactic atomic family package, you.

Daddy Anson does the R2FuckU dance at the 07 CON

Oh, The HORROR

I find your lack of faith disturbing.You don’t know the power of the dark side! Luke, I am your father!. Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and soon the fall of the rebellion. The force is strong with this one. I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since…..You should not have come back! The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. Just for once, let me look at your face with my own eyes. I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master. Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them. Obi-Wan has taught you well. Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don’t know the power of the Dark Side, I must obey my master. It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now. You are unwise to lower your defenses! As you wish. No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself. My son is with them.You cannot hide forever, Luke. Don’t fail me again, Admiral. Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses. He will join us or die, my master. Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory. Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.What is thy bidding, my master? When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

Rockin With Volkken, at least for this afternoon.

Randy Vollken thinks you are a fag. Sorry.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.You don’t know the power of the dark side! Luke, I am your father!. Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and soon the fall of the rebellion. The force is strong with this one. I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since…..You should not have come back! The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. Just for once, let me look at your face with my own eyes. I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master. Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them. Obi-Wan has taught you well. Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don’t know the power of the Dark Side, I must obey my master. It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now. You are unwise to lower your defenses! As you wish. No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself. My son is with them.You cannot hide forever, Luke. Don’t fail me again, Admiral. Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses. He will join us or die, my master. Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory. Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.What is thy bidding, my master? When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

Manchild discovers virtual pussy.

Jared Phalbus discovered that virtual pussy isnt much different than sticking your peepee in a bag of potato chips

I find your lack of faith disturbing.You don’t know the power of the dark side! Luke, I am your father!. Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and soon the fall of the rebellion. The force is strong with this one. I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since…..You should not have come back! The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. Just for once, let me look at your face with my own eyes. I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master. Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them. Obi-Wan has taught you well. Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don’t know the power of the Dark Side, I must obey my master. It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now. You are unwise to lower your defenses! As you wish. No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself. My son is with them.You cannot hide forever, Luke. Don’t fail me again, Admiral. Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses. He will join us or die, my master. Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory. Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.What is thy bidding, my master? When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

Bartender Savant concockts a truly inspired leg spreader.

Harvy Thingbottom, Creator of LAs hottest new coctail "She said ok"

I find your lack of faith disturbing.You don’t know the power of the dark side! Luke, I am your father!. Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and soon the fall of the rebellion. The force is strong with this one. I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since…..You should not have come back! The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. Just for once, let me look at your face with my own eyes. I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master. Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them. Obi-Wan has taught you well. Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don’t know the power of the Dark Side, I must obey my master. It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now. You are unwise to lower your defenses! As you wish. No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself. My son is with them.You cannot hide forever, Luke. Don’t fail me again, Admiral. Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses. He will join us or die, my master. Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory. Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.What is thy bidding, my master? When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”